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livredor
Social
Monday, 20 February 2017 at 07:40 pm
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I've had a good month for seeing friends I don't spend time with often enough. I managed long phone chats with [personal profile] hatam_soferet and [personal profile] lethargic_man, and [personal profile] jack and I managed to get most of a weekend with [personal profile] doseybat and her mother and [personal profile] pplfichi, and the wonderful [personal profile] angelofthenorth came to stay with me for a few days.

I feel really really blessed by having such wonderful friends, especially when they reach out to me when I'm doing badly at keeping in touch. And several other people have got in touch too and I really do want to get back to them to make plans. And I'm not doing at all well at posting or commenting here (though I'm still reading, definitely, I haven't missed a day.)

It's easy to worry that I'm failing to live up to the standard I've always held, that I shouldn't let friendships slide because I'm too absorbed in romantic relationships. But I think that's not really true, that's just me being self-critical; there are lots of reasons why I'm finding keeping in touch hard, and it's not particularly because I'm poly or caught up in NRE. (Really, it's been 2½ years, I can hardly blame newness.) I've always struggled with regular correspondence, and keeping lots of different friendships going is hard for everybody at a life stage when we're dealing with demanding jobs, parenting – and it's more and more common that my friends have caring responsibilities for older relatives, grandparents or even parents.

And the fact that lots of my time and energy is taken up by commuting. I can't socialize much during the week since basically none of my friends live near me (since [personal profile] mathcathy moved away). I can't easily cram socializing into my extremely tight weekends, because if I go anywhere other than Cambridge I end up not seeing my partners for ages. Also, everybody is ridiculously busy and booked up at weekends. I think the solution to this is probably to move nearer to my main social group, who are in Cambridge and London, and hopefully that will give me more time for friends who are more distant. That is obviously quite a difficult thing to sort out, though, and I don't want to pin too much hope on everything magically becoming easier.

Anyway, the only way to restart the habit of posting here is to just go ahead and do so. Have a meme which ghoti sensibly imported from FB: suggest a category and I'll tell you my top five things in that category. Feel free to propagate it if you think it would be a fun thing to do in your own journal.

I prefer comments at Dreamwidth. There are currently comment count unavailable comments there. You can use your LJ address as an OpenID, or just write your name.


Whereaboooots: Keele University, Staffordshire, England
Moooood: determineddetermined
Tuuuuune: Melissa Ferrick: Drive
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ghoti: default
From:ghoti
Date:February 21st, 2017 01:38 pm (UTC)
17 hours after journal entry, 02:38 pm (ghoti's time)
(Link)
This poem just popped up in my FB feed and it seemed appropriate:
https://www.facebook.com/holliepoetry/photos/a.394642953983118.1073741828.394016940712386/1232008490246556/?type=3&theater

So my top 5 is poems (although of course I won't hold you to them forever, it's too big a category)
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livredor: letters
From:livredor
Date:February 21st, 2017 05:22 pm (UTC)
21 hours after journal entry, 06:22 pm (livredor's time)
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Oh yes, that is very much à propos, thank you.

And thank you for an excellent top 5 category!

  • A little bit by Heine whose title I don't know.

  • A song of living by Amelia Burr.

  • A long poem by Verlaine called En patinant which is a very sexy poem about loving someone through the seasons:

    L'automne, heureusement, avec
    Son jour froid et ses bises rudes,
    Vint nous corriger, bref et sec,
    De nos mauvaises habitudes,

    Et nous induisit brusquement
    En l'élégance réclamée
    De tout irréprochable amant
    Comme de tout digne aimée
    I translated this snippet of it for Colin a while back:
    Fortunately the autumn brought
    Its cold days and its brisk north winds
    To correct our bad habits; we ought
    To accept its dry, curt discipline

    And act like the kind of lovers who
    Are elegant, even refined:
    I, impeccably behaved, and you
    Beloved, noble in mind.

  • Lots of stuff that my Dad recited to us when we were kids, I think probably my most favourite is GK Chesterton's The rolling English road.

  • The poem that's quoted in our ketubah, Sachki ('Laugh') by Saul Tchernikowsky:
    Laugh and deride: I am the dreamer
    Weaving my dreams both straight and true
    Laugh because I believe in humanity
    For though you mock me, I believe in you.

    Laugh if you like: I believe in friendship
    I believe in the heart I'll find
    The heart I hope for, in hope so tender
    In joy, in sorrow, we'll be one in mind
    (My translation of the Hebrew original.)

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