Tears before bedtime - Livre d'Or








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livredor
Tears before bedtime
Tuesday, 15 February 2005 at 07:38 pm
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I was sitting quietly working on my thesis just now, with a randomized playlist providing background noise. For absolutely no reason, the Renaud song Mistral gagnant made me cry. I'm not upset tearful, I don't think, it's more like a sudden sense of how much certain people mean to me.

I don't understand this at all; I have absolutely no associations with the song and it's not especially lovely, kind of sentimental but not the sort of thing I normally find deeply moving. And it's not a time of the month when I should be randomly tearful about nothing, and no emotionally disturbing things have happened to me recently.
Te raconter enfin qu'il faut aimer la vie / Et l'aimer même si le temps est assassin...
(Lemme tell you, you gotta love life in the end, you gotta love it even when time comes to murder it.)


Moooood: melancholysentimental
Tuuuuune: Renaud: Mistral gagnant
Discussion: 8 contributions | Contribute something
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rysmiel: can't rain all the time
From:rysmiel
Date:February 15th, 2005 08:34 pm (UTC)
39 minutes after journal entry, 04:34 pm (rysmiel's time)
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*hug* That sounds to me like the kind of unexpectedly labile I get when under a lot of tension in ways orthogonal to the emotions about which I'm labile. It makes little sense and I'm a little wary of it as a thing other people might misread, but it is something I recognise, that it's much easier for me to get weepy about people I care about when I'm really wound up about work or visas or some such.
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livredor: portrait
From:livredor
Date:February 15th, 2005 08:54 pm (UTC)
59 minutes after journal entry, 09:54 pm (livredor's time)
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it's much easier for me to get weepy about people I care about when I'm really wound up about work
OK, that really does fit. I spooked myself a bit because I really don't think of myself as the sort of person who cries over nothing at all. I'm doing that stupid thing of not being consciously aware of the general background level of stress which is affecting the way I react, I think.

Thank you for pointing this out, I feel a lot less freaked now, really. *hug*
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rysmiel: default
From:rysmiel
Date:February 15th, 2005 09:05 pm (UTC)
1 hours after journal entry, 05:05 pm (rysmiel's time)
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I'm doing that stupid thing of not being consciously aware of the general background level of stress which is affecting the way I react, I think.

Stupid's not the relevant word, I think. In that focus enough to be able for work at this level of difficulty is a learned skill, and so also is balancing that with keeping reasonable track of how it's affecting everything else, and they're not by any means skills one learns at the same rate - I am still working on the second, definitely. It's something much easier to spot in other people than in yourself. *hug* Glad my perspective helps, though.
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lethargic_man: default
From:lethargic_man
Date:February 15th, 2005 09:34 pm (UTC)
1 hours after journal entry, 10:34 pm (lethargic_man's time)
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*hug*
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livredor: portrait
From:livredor
Date:February 16th, 2005 10:38 am (UTC)
14 hours after journal entry, 11:38 am (livredor's time)
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Thank you. Hugs are good.
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usuakari: default
From:usuakari
Date:February 16th, 2005 05:51 am (UTC)
9 hours after journal entry, 03:51 pm (usuakari's time)
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(Lemme tell you, you gotta love life in the end, you gotta love it even when time comes to murder it.)

That concept/sentiment's enough to make anyway sad if they dwell on it. It's a bitter-sweet form of sadness, but I get it just reading the line, without even knowing the song.

Sometimes background stuff has the opportunity to slide past many of the cooler, more rational safeguards we hold in place and affect us in unexpected ways. Sounds like this might have been the case here...
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livredor: letters
From:livredor
Date:February 16th, 2005 11:12 am (UTC)
15 hours after journal entry, 12:12 pm (livredor's time)
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It's true that Mistral gagnant is a sad song; it's partly about unrequited love and mainly about transience and loss of innocence. But it's kinda shmaltzy, and it's not like I didn't know that children grow up and get cynical and eventually die.

Sometimes background stuff has the opportunity to slide past many of the cooler, more rational safeguards we hold in place
Yeah, that does sound pretty likely. If I'd been focusing directly on the song I'd probably just have been appreciating the clever things Renaud does with language and wincing at the cliched instrumentals. Oh well.
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usuakari: default
From:usuakari
Date:February 17th, 2005 03:38 am (UTC)
1 days after journal entry, 01:38 pm (usuakari's time)
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Heh. :) Probably doesn't sound as schmaltzy to me as I don't know the rest of the song.

Taken out of context it's a nice line and reminds me of my work and my ponderings on the nature and processes of life and death.
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