November 21st, 2006



Way too many stupid little things have gone wrong in the last couple of days. I don't intend to make a habit of this kind of post, but I'm in the kind of mood where I think getting this off my chest will help a bit. You are of course welcome to skip if you find whiny posts annoying. In any case I need distraction more than I need hugs, so probably the best thing you can do for me is to tell me something interesting rather than feeling obliged to express sympathy over the stupid annoying stuff.

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I don't know what's wrong with me; little things like this, plus some of my experiments not working as I'd hoped, don't usually get me down. It's not even a matter of counting my blessings, because pretty much every measurable parameter in my life is near-perfect. Maybe it's the darkness, though as yet it's not darker here than it was in Dundee in the depths of winter. Maybe it's culture shock; it's a classic thing for immigrants to be miserable a few months after moving to a new country, when the novelty has worn off but they haven't yet settled. My best guess is a kind of loneliness; I'm too far away from most of my friends (though ploni_bat_ploni has been a pillar, and without her I really would be going mad). And because I'm miserable I don't find the energy to fight against the oppressiveness of geography by keeping in regular contact by email and phone and IM.

Anyway, I must get back to work before I waste another day and have yet another reason to be angry at myself.
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