redbird and some friends have set up a blog to collect songs that portray healthy love. This is a fun game; I think there are more songs about breakups than about happy relationships, but even among songs that are supposed to be positive, there is a lot of sexism, stalkery possessiveness, co-dependence, deeply back-handed compliments and other such junk. So, can you think of any songs which describe a relationship you'd be willing to aspire to?
My suggestions: Nothing else matters (Metallica); Independent love song (Scarlet); Hey there Delilah (Plain White Ts); When I was a boy (Dar Williams); and If I could save time in a bottle (Jim Croce).
I'm making a playlist of some of the suggestions, but as usual it's pretty random what is available at any given moment.
Because one that came to my mind is Wenn du da bist ("When you'll be there" or "When you'll have arrived") by Pur, but it's about a father singing mostly to his unborn child (but also to, or at least about, his wife and how her belly looks beautiful to him). I think it counts as healthy love.
Hm. I was thinking of love songs between couples, but I don't see a good reason to discount other kinds of love songs. I thought of Tori Amos' Winter, which portrays a really lovely relationship between a father and a daughter, but I told myself that doesn't really count as a love song. But perhaps it should.
That's another song where I really like the story it tells! I am a bit uncertain about songs that romanticize war like that; I think my ideal relationship is not based on killing the enemy before they kill us, and I don't like the assumption that little boys grow up to be soldiers. But the relationship itself is definitely to be admired.
What a great idea. At the moment I can't think of a single one, although I can think of two possibilities that I need to investigate the lyrics of further -- "Baby Baby" by Amy Grant, which she actually wrote for her daughter but the effect of that was destroyed by the music video which involved a sexy man not a baby, and "Butterfly Kisses" by some country singer which had thousands of little girls nationwide begging for him to be their Mommy's new partner. So, while lyrically both may qualify, their effects have been...interesting....
How much do they have to be unambiguously about a relationship? I mean, is it okay if they're just basically "squee, I love you, you are great", or is that unhealthy because it's not clear whether the person being sung about reciprocates that -- ie whether the person/persona singing it is a crazy stalker fantasist?
Anyway, my suggestions:
"The Book of Love" by the Magnetic Fields
"You and me song" by the Wannadies
"This Kiss" by Faith Hill
"You're still the one" by Shania Twain
"I want to be your girlfriend" by Mary Chapin Carpenter (unless "nobody else's but yours" makes it unhealthy because it's pro-mono [though I suppose in that case "still the one" is just as bad] ... though to be honest the whole thing is probably already disqualified on the grounds of sexism because it's a girl wanting to be a boy's "girlfriend" ... but I still think it's sweet)
addedentry suggests "Are we ever gonna have sex again?" by Amy Rigby. :-D It's realistic at least!
Sorry these are all so heteronormative.
And it's amazing how quickly all love songs start to look unhealthy because they say things like "I'll always love you" or "I love you more than anything else in the world" or other sick nonsense like that. In fact the more I think about it the more I think "love" is probably a very dangerous word to use and should be banned on grounds of health. :-(
As far as we seem to have this defined, it doesn't need to be about a relationship, but we're looking for healthy: so "I love you, I want to be with you always" is okay, but "I love you and I cannot live without you" is problematic, and "I love you, I cannot live without you, marry me or I will kill myself"  is unhealthy.
 Lehrer was reassured, if that's the word, when he saw that the envelope was addressed to "Occupant"
"Time in a Bottle" feels a little bit more obsessive than is entirely healthy to me. And I tend to think of "Nothing Else Matters" as a political anthem first and a relationship song second, which is all Gravy Bath's fault.
A positive suggestion, to make up for moaning in the last post; how about the Waterboys' "Whole of the Moon" ? That feels like a relationship where the singer really respects the person sung to, and thinks in terms of sharing good stuff with them.
Also, U2's "One" seems to be the only song I can think of concerning a relationship in trouble that is both offering to do healthy things to fix it, and pointing out and refusing unhealthy simplistic solutions. Or indeed one of the very few that acknowledges that real good relationships have imperfections and this is OK.
Jeez, I don't think I know any "healthy love songs." My "love songs" tend to be more along the lines of Nine Inch Nail's Closer or Revolting Cock's cover of Do Ya Think I'm Sexy. Still, I'm sure there's something hidden in my collection that I can contribute.
"Imperfection" by The Tears - a beautiful and passionate song about loving someone warts'n'all.
"You Got the Love" by The Source and Candi Statton - I think it's really a gospel song and therefore probably about a higher power rather than a person, but it could be read as being about loving support in times of need.
"Never be the Same Again" - Mel C and Lisa Lopes. All about friends finally getting together.
Far too syrupy for my tastes, but "You're Still The One" by Shania Twain is about love and marriage lasting in the face of cynicism from others.
"I Got You Babe" - Sonny & Cher "Heaven is a place on earth" - Belinda Carlisle "All I Ask Of You" from the Phantom of the Opera "Happy Together" - the Turtles (I think) "The Wonder of You" - Elvis Presley "I will be here" - Steven Curtis Chapman