in loveI have the most amazing wonderful husband. We celebrated our first calendar anniversary this year, four years since getting married on 29th February, and eight since getting together on the previous Leap Day.
One surprising thing that's happened is that several people we know or who are second-degree connected to us have been inspired by our custom wedding contract. Some people have commissioned something with a similar design, often from our own
Our first anniversary gift was supposed to be making details from our illuminated contract into mugs, and it's taken us a while to get round to organizing it. So anyway, does anyone have any recommendations for suppliers of custom mugs? We want a site that has reasonable flexibility in design, not just fitting to a standard template, and we're looking for one-off products just for us, not setting up a shop like Zazzle or similar.
Another heartwarming bit of validation recently was a comment from
you have found a model of relationship and being that makes you happy, and have gone after it with both hands and an open and willing heart. Thank you so very much for saying that, Azz. I... generally expect most of my circles to be relatively accepting of poly, but I don't expect to be praised for being devoted to my quad, so I was really really moved by that.
I think in some ways we're playing relationships on the easy setting. Polyamory brings its own complications and the risk of prejudice and judgementalism, of course, but that's very much mitigated because we live in the Cambridge bubble and half our friendship group are poly, and we have access to lots of friendly supportive queer-friendly non-skeevy poly groups not made up of our personal friends, if we need that. At the same time, we look quite a lot like a pair of opposite sex, fairly conventional couples, which isn't even about passing, we actually are that, it's just that we have relationships with eachother as well. Most of our parents are broadly accepting, and anyway we're at a life stage where we're not hugely dependent on parents' approval. Our partners' children have been amazingly welcoming to me and
And there's all the practical stuff, we all have reasonably good to excellent health, we're reasonably well off financially, we have jobs that allow enough flexibility to fit the relationships in. Starting the relationship in our mid-30s, with enough relationship experience behind us to have a reasonable clue what we're doing, but not too much in the way of horrible damage from past bad relationships, has been really beneficial. The children are the children of exactly the people that society and bureaucracy expect to be their parents, so we don't have to fight to get parental relationships acknowledged. Yes, we are going to suffer because of Brexit, since
Anyway, I can look at all those advantages and be grateful for them, but I can also feel really proud that over a year and a half we've built up a really solid, really mutually supportive and joyful relationship. Not that it's been completely plain sailing the whole time, but the positives far far outweigh the difficulties. We're even getting better at spending more time actually together than we spend on scheduling!
Maybe I'm a tiny bit sad that I'm here spending 15th Av on my own, writing DW posts about how much I love my people instead of walking arm-in-arm in the moonlight telling eachother directly. But
ghoti is off having adventures, and after that we have a bank holiday weekend when we can all be together and that will be very very good for my happiness.I prefer comments at Dreamwidth. There are currently
