Well, it's taken me six years, but finally, I am not in any relationship and I have no prospect of being in any relationship. You might have thought that an ambition for singlehood would be easy to achieve, since it's pretty much the default state and plenty of people end up that way even though they're making serious effort to avoid being single. Not me. I've had very strange luck, and it's led to several really wonderful relationships, so wonderful that they overcame my basic dislike of that sort of thing.
And yes, I am going to get severely laughed at if I do end up getting together with someone, even more than I got laughed at the last three times this kind of thing happened. But I'm sufficiently confident that isn't going to happen this time to run the risk of humiliation by gloating about being single! Just in case anyone is confused about this, this is
not a cue for someone to ask me out in order to prove me wrong. Much less a hint along the lines of, oh look, I'm lonely and available, someone please show some interest!
*deep breath*
The less positive side of this is that the way I got to be single was by bringing to a close my two-year relationship with
lethargic_man. I'm posting this here mainly because I don't want to have to repeat the information any more times than necessary. I'm not miserable about it; we
planned this more or less from the beginning, and I am very convinced that it was the right thing to do. So please, if you can possibly bear to refrain from expressing sympathy, I'd really appreciate not having to go through the explanation of why I'm not in the emotional state typically associated with breakups.
That doesn't mean I'm absolutely over the moon about this. I really, really like and admire and, yes, love
lethargic_man, and I really, really liked going out with him. I may post to expand on that later, but the main point I want to make is that, just because I'm not looking for sympathy, you shouldn't assume that I'm celebrating either.
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| From: | livredor |
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| Date: | December 20th, 2004 11:07 pm (UTC)
2 hours after journal entry, 11:07 pm (livredor's time) |
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*hug*, not in sympathy for imagined unpleasantness
Hey, hugs are always good. I didn't express any objections to people hugging me. I'm much cheered by this comment, thank you (and that's without being particularly miserable in the first place, you understand).
in support of being grown-up about such things in a non-conventional way
Well, thank you. I'm not sure I'm being either particularly grown-up or particularly non-conventional, but neither seems entirely unreasonable either. And I like being supported in my decisions, especially when hugs are involved.
I like you, and you're very good to me, and this comment is yet another example of it.
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| From: | livredor |
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| Date: | December 21st, 2004 10:59 pm (UTC)
1 days after journal entry, 10:59 pm (livredor's time) |
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then I realised that I was being nosy and put it away
Oh, you're perfectly allowed to be nosy! Stuff I put in public posts is public, and I don't mind who reads it or who discusses it. (I have filters you're not in, things like a small group of people who are close friends of mine independent of LJ, and if I had something I wanted to discuss only with people who know me really well, that's where I'd put it.)
I'm completely fascinated by how other people deal with things like relationships; some would call me nosy because of that, I suppose. But I'm quite happy to improve my nosiness karma by being open about my own lovelife! Feel free to nose all you like, and do ask me to clarify if there's some background information you're missing, I shan't be at all offended.
Were I in your shoes I don't think I'd be able to keep myself together as well as you seem to be.
Ah, it's just my Vulcan blood showing through, I think ;-) I seem to be rather good at breakups, which is a bit of an odd talent, and one you almost hope not to get the benefit of, but anyway.
when in transition from one state to another I'm prone to being slightly nutty.
Well, in that case I hope your life is relatively free of painful transitions which might throw you off-balance.
So other than those random thoughts I've not much to say.
Random thoughts are good; that's part of what LJ is for, after all!
Only I hope you have a good - er, holiday-ish season,
Thank you. 'Happy birthday' works quite well (and saves having to figure out an appropriate seasonal greeting), given my birthday is during Christmas.
and that you complete the T-word soon :)
Thanks, I really appreciate your kind thoughts.
| From: | (Anonymous) |
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| Date: | December 21st, 2004 01:49 pm (UTC)
17 hours after journal entry |
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just to say, in a way, well done for doing what you thought was right. hugs from me (not to be dished out generally as you know).
it was lovely to meet lethargic_man, although he did have some slightly disconcerting first impressions... and hopefully i will see him again sometime.
also, i kinda did this process too, a couple of years ago, though i found it a little traumatic, cos all the thinking and processing and descision-making was on my side, so after a good 10 months spent trying to work out the pros and cons etc (while going out long-distance and not seeing each other once), i eventually decided the things i knew i wanted (or knew i didnt want) won out over the great relationship. oh dear.
i totally admire the way you (both) have been so explicit and eloquent about this. clear-thinking, that's what i mean to say. well done for that too.
[blue_mai]
calm