Not sheepish, but individ-ewe-al (livredor) wrote,
Not sheepish, but individ-ewe-al

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Only simchas

So, the funeral. Not because I'm trying deliberately to be depressing, but because it's something I think worth recording. And some of this story is amusing rather than depressing.

First amusing thing: I get on this train Thursday evening to get back to Cambridge. And it's just over six hours, so by the time we get to Doncaster, I'm getting a bit too tired to do anything stimulating, but therefore bored just sitting watching boring parts of the NE go past the window. And I hear this announcement This train is now arriving at Doncaster where a disabled passenger is boarding the train. I think, duh, what was the point of announcing that? I wonder what Screwy would say if he heard! And then what should happen but both the brothers get on the train exactly at the door I'm sitting by. I completely wasn't expecting my brothers to be on the train; I had no idea that Screwy was even going to be allowed out of hospital for the funeral!

Not so amusing: Funerals should not be full of twenty-somethings, apart from the chief mourners who are all much older than the deceased. This is just obscene. It's also the first time that I've managed to be on time to an Orthodox funeral and so managed to hear the first part of the liturgy. It's quite... bizarre, basically a selection of quotations to the effect that God's judgement is always right and above human questioning.

More generally amusing stuff: Lots of family there, leading to plenty of embarrassment because I really can't tell all my second and third cousins apart. Screwy is greeted like a minor celebrity, as many of these miscellaneous cousins haven't actually seen him since his accident, due to his being stuck in hospital most of the time, and quite a lot of them living abroad.

Granny calls Dad's sister a a bossy bloody Jewish bitch (pot, meet kettle; at least Auntie E doesn't say that kind of remark out loud!) And Screwy calls our first cousin E a corporate whore, though not quite in so many words. But E takes this in good part, because she's way too good-hearted to take offence even at Screwy's total lack of... inhibitions.

And we get to meet E's famous bf at last. In appearance he is the ultimate Latino fantasy: Argentinian, very dark colouring, tall and well-built, sculptured face with jet black curls and huge blue eyes. Poor boy, the funeral wasn't the ideal time for him to be introduced to the mafia, but he coped remarkably well, and he was generally approved of.
Tags: diary, family

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